Thursday, July 16, 2015

My "selfie" image

I've been away from this blog for quite a long time. Life has been hectic and wonderful with our daughter and I have been focusing on transitioning from a person, to a person who's focus is now wildly shifted. I'll write more about that transition later. But for now, I'd like to talk about something I've been thinking about a lot lately. 

Sass selfie
I take a lot of selfies.

I don't always post them to public media, But sometimes, if I feel like it's not too unflattering, I'll send it out. 

I've been thinking about why I do that . 

Adorable baby wearing selfie!

I think that generally, I want people I don't get to see very often to share in m life. Do I think they need pictures of my face to do that? Probably not. But as the family photographer, I have shockingly few pictures of myself. 

But I have a secret: I hate pictures of myself. I am always criticizing myself. "My hair's too gray/frizzy/short." "My rosacea is so ugly/my skin is too wrinkled." "My smile is so goofy and my eyes are to squinty."  

So I decided to take each reoccurring complaint I had about myself and turn it into something I am grateful for. 

"I have too many wrinkles" - My life has been full of laughter and tears, I have spent years focusing on listening, on smiling and sometimes I have cried. These wrinkles are roadmaps of the woman I have been. They remind me of the joy and sadness in my life that has led me here.

"My hair is frizzy/skin is too red." - My hair and my skin are mine. I can put products on them and try my best to care for them, but they are part of what makes me Magpie. Each dot, each mole and red cheek and flyaway hair are part of the whole of me. 

"My hair doesn't look good." - I have to remind myself that there are people who wish they had hair, but for various reasons do not. My style can always change, but I should be grateful for the hair I have!

"My eyes are squinty/forehead's too big/face is covered in moles..." - Everything I usually think makes me unappealing is part of me. I am alive and healthy, I see a dermatologist fairly regularly, and when I squint, it's because that is the face I make when I'm truly happy. It's my most genuine smile. 

Baby bump selfie!

Really, it boils down to hearing all this negative self-talk, recognizing it and eliminating it as part of my daily routine. 

Frankly, as much as I've supported positive self image in others, I've rarely felt it in myself. And now, I'm responsible for teaching small people that they are perfect just as they are. And the number of times in a day the hubs hears me say things I hate about myself will soon become things my children hear. 

I don't want them to start hearing me pick apart every small detail I dislike about myself. 

I am me, My face and body are mine and if I want to teach confidence and self appreciation to my children, I need to start with me. 

Show off your beautiful self and share it with the world! We need to see ALL faces and shapes. We need "everyday" to become the extraordinary we see regularly instead of the airbrushed, photoshopped images we've become used to comparing to.

Let the world see you embrace yourself. You never know who might need to see someone like them be confident!